We Bengalis love complaining. Even about those things that we like or love. Even when we are happy and satiated. We just love articulating our disdain and complaints at the drop of a dhuti! So here are the most common complaints we Bengalis have –
UFFFFFFFF KI GOROM / THANDA / MEGHLA / BRISHTI
[UFFFFFFF IT’S TOO HOT/COLD/CLOUDY/RAINY]
The summer is too hot, too sunny, insufferably humid & intolerably sweaty (the word used is pyach-pyache). The expectation is of one day having a cool breezy summer! The monsoon is of course too wet and there’s too much kaada (mud on the street!). The autumn is always spent complaining about the sudden mini showers around the corner. The winter is of course too chilly and it’s too tough to take a bath in the morning. And the lovely spring is sure as daylight spent complaining about the Westerlies that make dry dust fly into the Bengali bedroom (CLOSE THE WINDOWS DAMMIT!). These weather updates are of course the easiest ice breakers when two Bengalis meet!
DESHTAR AR KISSU HOLONA
[THE COUNTRY’S GOING TO THE DOGS]
The most common complaint of the stereotypical white punjabi clad Bhodrolok while sipping his morning cup of tea and peeking at the headlines of an early morning newspaper. Don’t try guessing at the cause for this sudden concern – it’s just a general complaint to the wall or the passing mosquito or the maid or maybe to the wind around him, that signifies that the world in general has not lived up to the Bengali gent’s high standards!
EKTU GHUMOTEO DEYNA
[DOESN’T EVEN LET ME SLEEP A BIT!]
This complain can come from anyone in your Bengali family. Your Bengali mum in the afternoon, if someone rings the doorbell and disturbs her siesta. Your Bengali baba if the newspaper guy chucks in the paper-roll 5 minutes before the agreed hour and minute. Your Bengali grandparents during almost any time of the day. Most iterations of this dialogue are of course aimed at the music loving or movie buff or guitar playing Bong dude or dudette who creates any sound higher than 50 decibels within the premises.
AGEKAR DINER MOTO ETA EKDOMI NOY
[THIS IS SHIT COMPARED TO THE DAYS OF YORE]
Bengalis are a nostalgic lot and nostalgia is one of the first complex English words we learn when growing up in Bengali households. But we do take this worship of yore to a mild extreme – nothing of the present is ever remotely as good as how it was in the past. The food tasted better then, the people were more polite and genteel then, girls were so much more beautiful then, life was easier then, music was Godly then, the arts were practiced with more finesse then and even the chappal was more comfortable then.
KI AGUN DAAM !!
[BLOODY FIERY PRICES]
The Bengali has never been a appreciator of the devil called INFLATION. Forever wry of rising prices, we Bongs have made sure that price rises are strictly tamed in our backyards. Even a single rupiya rise in bus fares is not to be tolerated without a fervent show of anger via 2 bus burning, 3 MICHILS (processions of like minded Bengalis) and a ton of cursing the powers that be. The most closely watched price index is of course the FISH and VEGETABLE prices at the local market – charge 5 taka more for the same fish the next day and sure as the rush hour traffic on Dharmatala, the Bengali Bhodrolok will turn obhodro (uncouth) in a moment!
[HE TRIES TO ACT TOO SMART]
This to a person of logic or who makes sense in any conversation. You dare oppose a Bengali’s point of view – may the lord smite you down with righteous anger. Or if not that then at least a snide comment about how the person making all the sense is just a big show off and will one day face retribution for mocking a good ‘ol Bong.
AAJKALKAR CHELEGULO / MEYEGULO NAA…
[THE BOYS & GIRLS OF TODAY…]
Though not an exclusively Bengali complaint (the Hindi version is equally virulent), the Bengali Bhodrolok/Bhodromohila sure knows how to raise their eyebrows at the weirdness of the present generation. Try wearing a spaghetti top or drink at a party with your dad or use the F word aloud in public transport – the stern Bengali look and the comment will sure bite into you from a distant corner.
KI JAM RE BABA
[THE TRAFFIC JAMS]
Geoff Boycott once said that he expected the entire traffic of Calcutta to come to a sudden halt one day because of the congestion on our streets. The Bengali, even if she/he has grown up amidst all the traffic & honking, will at least complain once every time the vehicle stops at a red light.
What other complaints have you heard from Bengalis? Let us know!!
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