Authors Posts by Teen Kori

Teen Kori

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Teen Kori (translates to THREE PIPS) is the lazy, laid back, food loving Bong bibliophile who can spend days sitting on his arm chair and doodling or reading while there's a steady supply of colored fluids and music.

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    There are a host of stereotypes that chase a Bengali. Some weird, some exagerrated but some true. Here are the top twelve of those cliches.

    Bengali stereotypes
    Bengali stereotypes

    We Bengalis have migrated out of West Bengal and moved to different parts of India, mostly to earn a living. Wherever you go in India you are likely to find at least 1 Bengali in a 10 meter radius around you (especially in Bangalore, where one 335E bus might sound like a 3D/1). Basically we have done to India, what we Indians have done to the US or the UK.
    But irrespective of where we are, stereotypes never seem to be far behind. And most of them are so damn cliched that it pisses the hell out of most of us. So here goes, the top 12 stereotypes we Bengalis are sick of.

    1. Ami tomake bhalobasheeeeeee…

    Ami tomake bhalobashi | Khuddar song
    The song from Khuddar where India learned how to say I Love You in different languages

    Yes, thank you. Glad to know that you know 3 Bengali words that every other Indian also knows. Thanks to one Kishore Kumar song, you know how to say I love you in many Indian languages. But if you are a 40 year old uncle coming and saying that to me in a weird accent, honestly it’s a little creepy. And if you really want to say it, at least learn the correct pronunciation, since it’s easier than the French you’ve been trying to learn forever.
    So my dear, thanks, but no thanks.

    2. You must make good fish curry!


    No I don’t! Does every Sejal Patel you know make killer Dhokla? Does every Happy Singh cook up crazy ass Tandoori Murg?? Neither do I. I don’t know how to cook Machher Jhol, hell I don’t even like Machher Jhol all the time!

    3. Hey, Happy Durgoo Pujooo

    Durga Puja. Bongfeed,com
    Durga Puja. Bongfeed,com

    Okay, stop it, right now! You don’t have to put unnecessary “OOO” at the end of every Bengali word. Thanks for your wishes. I agree, we do make a big deal out of Durga Pujo. Please remember to wish every Tamilian on Pongal, every Asamese on Bihu and every Punjabi on Baisakhi too.

    4. Bengali = = Communist

    Bengali politicians
    Bengali politicians – Mimi Chakraborty & Nusrat Jahan

    YES-NO-MAYBE! Toke bolbo keno?
    Yes we were ruled by the reds for far too many decades. But that does not define us.
    Are you from Delhi, that must mean you wear a muffler and cough 24/7. From Chennai? Where is the Amma picture on your wall?

    5. Why aren’t there Roshogollas in your fridge?

    K C Das Rossogolla
    K C Das Rossogolla – Follow the link to buy some

    Sorry, just finished the last dozen for my midnight snacking. Well, to be honest, I would have a “haanri” full only if we had a friendly neighborhood K C Das outlet everywhere on the globe. But, diabetes is actually a thing to be worried about, you know.

    6. The Ulu

    Kahaani - Ulu
    The ulu making an appearance in Kahaani

    So you have seen Devdas or Kahaani. Wonderful! We do the “Ulu” to hail a happy occasion & to ward off any evil. But let me make it clear, it involves only your tongue and your lips. No “fingers” needed. Please stop being Ashutosh Rana from Sangharsh.

    7. Bengalis are intellectuals & feminists

    Sarala Devi - founder of the first women’s organisation of India, Bharat Stree Mahamandal
    Sarala Devi – founder of the first women’s organisation of India, Bharat Stree Mahamandal

    Proudly! We are the literary type, we like our Robindro Songeet, we don’t ask for dowry, we don’t frown upon pre-marital shenanigans and love marriage is not a taboo. We don’t ask our daughters-in-law to stop working after marriage nor do we expect them to be “ghar ki Lakshmi” or “kitchen queens”.
    Both Jana Gana and Vande Mataram were written by Bengalis & that is just the headline of a long list of our intellectual impact on this nation’s cultural heritage. So yeah, don’t brand us – emulate us! “snaps fingers”.

    8. Where is your red and white bangle?

    Bengali bride wearing Shankha Pola
    Bengali bride wearing Shankha Pola

    They are called “Saankha Pola” and are a part of a married Bengali woman’s attire. But, even post marriage, we are not bound to wear anything, there is something called choice.
    Where is your Choora and Mangalsutra, woman ?!

    9. You really don’t drink at your weddings?

    Bride & friends drinking
    Bride & friends drinking

    Mostly we don’t, but sometimes we do. You just need to know the right person to ask for it at our weddings. But yes, we don’t drink uncontrollably, go berserk to a DJ playing Biri Jalaile, puke and pass out at our weddings.

    10. Tumi jol khabo?

    Edible water. Finally!
    Edible water. Finally!

    Okay I get it. We literally “eat” everything. Food, water, cigarettes, jhaar, ador (cuddle) . We even say “chumu khabo” (chumu = kiss)! But please come up with a new one. Other wise I will snap your neck and “khabo” your head!

    11. A Bengali and you don’t smoke?

    Raima Sen
    Raima Sen

    Just cause I am a Bengali doesn’t mean I have to smoke & smoke up. Some of us also like fresh lungs and have other ways of getting high (Darjeeling cha!) and gave up smoking once we realized what it had done to our lungs! The same way that every Punjabi doesn’t have a sharab-di-gaddi, not all Bengalis breath nicotine!

    12. Lazy babu-culture

    Bengali adda
    Bengali adda

    Yeah yeah. We know how bandhs and communist rules are equated with bad work cultures in Bengal. But while everyone goes crazy about the Italian habit of siesta, we Bengalis get a bad rap for our bhaat- ghum. We Bengali take things slow and love going through life at a pace that gives most joy – not most profit. So, a little lyadh is fine by us, an evening’s adda is what we need and a mellow life is what we enjoy. And we wouldn’t be bagging all the Nobel prizes if we really had bad work habits.

    Have more stereotypes we missed? Let us know and we’ll keep adding!

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    This winter spend some time with your family. And here are a few ideas to get you going. It's family time!

    Portrait of a bengali family sitting together and smiling
    Portrait of a bengali family sitting together and smiling

    It’s that time of the year in Calcutta when the weathers at its best and the holiday spirit is all around. And this is when you have the brilliant opportunity of making up for all the missed weekends and spend a laid-back time with the family, creating memories. So get off of your mobiles and social networks and just enjoy the pure unadulterated joy of being with your family & friends in the real world.

    So here are some of our ideas of how to make best use of this winter in Calcutta!

    Go for the long overdue special breakfast

    Treat your family to a fun breakfast. Take the spouse out and surprise him/her. We have so many great options for the all-time favorite INGREJ breakfast, alongside the evergreen kachuri-jilipi, that it’s a shame that we don’t go out for breakfast more often. Try Tiretti for the Chinese breakfast or Raj’s Spanish Café in Sudder street for a Spanish spread too.

    A family breakfast at Flurys is what the winter is for. Source ~ Link
    A family breakfast at Flurys is what the winter is for. Source ~ Link

    The never ending adda session & house parties

    Create a simple invitation. Send that thing out to all the friends and family that you miss seeing and invite them over for a barbecue on your rooftop or something even as simple as Singhara, Chop, Chaa & dollops of old fashioned Bengali adda. Seems out of the blue? Trust us, it always nicely surprises everyone and who doesn’t like an excuse to meet people they love?

    Remember the House Party from Jagga Jasus? Source ~ YouTube.
    Remember the House Party from Jagga Jasus? Source ~ YouTube.

    Food, food & more food.

    Ti’s is the season to binge! Just go online. Pick any area in Calcutta. See how many new joints have come up recently? Go and explore all of them with the family. And please leave the phones behind, and talk to each other while waiting for the order, find out what everyone is up to and see the entire family grin together for the perfect groupfie!

    And by the way, in case you’re wondering why we dedicated this entire post to family time, blame this heartwarming video we came across. Hope you like it too!

    Movie Marathon

    Gather all the pillows, cushions, GODI, LEP-KOMBOL in the house and pile them up in front of that big TV. Bake some popcorn, flip open one of those food ordering apps and order dinner. Pile the family in, turn the lights off and start the Calcutta international home film festival. Awesome way to go back to the classics or introduce the children to the joy of Satyajit Ray’s flicks or the all-time-favorite Home Alone!

    Gupi Bagha never get old. Source.
    Gupi Bagha never get old. Source.

    A book reading session

    Get hold of a nice comfy chair at the coziest corner of your house. Gather the children and the family and read from one of your favorite books (we recommend Ruskin Bond or Satyajit Ray). To spice it up, announce the book reading session in advance and use background music in places to heighten the plot effects. Keep the conversation going too, between the lines. This is one beautiful way for the entire family to sit together and participate in the joy of good storytelling.

    Reading together. Source ~ Link
    Reading together. Source ~ Link

    Games galore

    When was the last time you played the childhood favorites of Ludo & Snake-Ladder & Uno & Scrabble? Yeah, been a long time! So, get the family together, make some hot coffee and start a game of Ludo or a to die-for round of Uno. You will be surprised how well the grandparents are in predicting the CHOKKA In Ludo!

    Ludo with the family. Source ~ Link
    Ludo with the family. Source ~ Link

    Go hit up Happy Street in Park Street

    Every Sunday between 6:30 A.M. – 9:30 A.M. Park Street is blocked from all traffic and a fun carnival begins. Happy Street is an initiative to get you out of bed on Sunday morning and partake of activities like Jogging, Cycling, Skating, Painting, Aerobics, Zumba, badminton, Basketball, Football, Volley Ball all in the open expanse of Park Street. It’s a fun jamboree for the entire family and we promise you there something for everyone here!

    Happy Street in Park Street.
    Happy Street in Park Street. Source.

    So there you go – have a great winter with the entire family and make sure you include regular doses of GUR & MOWA into all the fun!

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    WINTER has finally arrived in Calcutta. Bored of the same old options? Here are 12 unique things for you to share with your family that they will love!

    Maidan in the morning
    Maidan in the morning

    Finally, after crossing the hurdles of NIMNOCHAAP, untimely rain and humidity, WINTER has finally arrived in Calcutta. And with the winter in Calcutta has come the unbridled joy of being able to roam around without sweat soaking through your clothes or eat tons of street food without worrying about how it would make you feel later!

    But, while everyone’s out partying in winters, you seldom get solid information about quirky things you could do with your family. So we looked around and compiled this list of 12 things that you would love to take your family to and have the proverbial happy day in the Sun this winter (with a KOMLA LEBU on the side !)

    1.A winter morning at the MAIDAN

    You have seen those lovely photographs of a mist shrouded Maidan with a horse grazing alone. But it’s time you saw it for yourself. Get up at 6 (it’s tough but it’s rewarding), pack the family up and plonk them in the middle of Maidan. Find a spot under a tree (try the area right opposite Park Street metro, let the kids be free and just enjoy the wide open vista and the many football & cricket games in progress.

    A winter morning at Maidan. Source ~ https://knowallsbox.com/2014/02/27/walk-around-maidan-in-the-morning/.
    A winter morning at Maidan. Source ~ Link

    2. An evening on the river

    Here’s a link for you if you love riding a slow cruise on the Hooghly. This river cruise starts from Babughat at 4:00 P.M. (so your wintery BHAAT GHUM doesn’t need to suffer) and lasts for 3 hours. It takes you across the entire Calcutta riverfront and then approaches Belur & Dakshineshwar. Pro tip – They serve food on the boat so don’t worry about carrying the CHANACHUR!

    The Hooghly. Source ~ Link
    The Hooghly. Source ~ Link

    3. The far flung ECO PARK

    Not unique enough? But have you been there? Am betting top dollar that most Calcuttans who do not work nearby, have not made much of an effort to go check out the Eco Park at New Town (BODDO DUR?!). But it’s a shame if you haven’t. The entire place is really well done and an early evening here is a lovely time spent with the family. Try Cafe Ekante while you are here – it’s serene, has a vie to kill for and the food is awesome! Pro tip – If you have a big family (15+ members) try having lunch on a platform that floats on the water. Call this number to book – 083340 65345.

    Cafe Ekante. Source.
    Cafe Ekante. Source.

    4. Take that walking trip

    Heard of Calcutta Walks yet? If you haven’t, here’s their contact. These guys are arguably the best ambassadors of Calcutta and they positively are the best guides around. Book a walking/cycling trip with them and see the city in it’s true glory and the streets jangle with untold stories. Pro tip – Iftekhar Ahsan is the man behind this great group of people. Try to get him as your companion and it’s going to be superb!

    The brilliant Ifte of Calcutta Walks on one of his custom walks. Source ~ Link
    The brilliant Ifte of Calcutta Walks on one of his custom walks. Source ~ Link

    5. Start your own Calcutta food trail

    Had that breakfast at Tiretti yet? Tasted the perfect pantheras in Calcutta? Had an authentic Spanish Sunday lunch in the bylanes of Sudder street? How about the legendary Sutli kebab near Nakhoda Masjid? Come on you! Winters are the best time in Calcutta to eat like there’s no tomorrow. And these quirky eateries are God’s own gift to the PETUK Bong! Surprise the spouse with a foodie trip one of these winter days. Pro Tip – Start in the North and finish near the Southern fringe. Ask us for more details or if you want us to come along and treat us!

    Raj's Spanish Cafe.
    Raj’s Spanish Cafe. @jorycaj/Instagram.

    6. Go Church-Hopping

    It’s Christmas real soon! And you are in a city that was once called the City of a 1000 Churches. Once upon a time, the city skyline was dotted with tall Church spires rising high towards heaven. And they are still there – these gloriously old, silent reminders of Anglican parishioners with their quiet solitudes and big organs! Go visit the lovely churches in Calcutta’s old lanes and live a slice of history! Maybe even join the Christmas mass and carol at St Paul’s (be there by early evening if you hope to get a seat on the pews) Pro Tip – Here’s an awesome post by the inimitable Rangan Datta with details of some of these churches.

    St. Andrew's Church. Source ~ Link
    St. Andrew’s Church. Source ~ Link

    7. Join a marathon together

    Yep. You heard that right. Move that lazy tushy, book your family bulk marathon tickets and join one of the many marathons we will have this winter in Kolkata. The first one was on the 16th morning. Believe you us, it’s really fun and supremely inspiring to participate in this event as a family. To stand shoulder to shoulder with your family at the finishing line and grin through the sweat and aching muscles is probably the best form of bonding ever.

    A marathon runner at Victoria. Source ~ Link.
    A marathon runner at Victoria. Source ~ Link.

    8. Go to the Circus and be a kid again

    Too common again? But come on, when was the last time you did go to a real circus? Remember how you badly wanted to sit in the first row as a kid? Go do that now! There are at least 2-3 circuses every winter in Calcutta (one for sure at Park Circus maidan and the other at Tala Park). Find out a good show time and take the entire family to marvel at the flying trapeze artists – some things never get old!

    9. Ignore the zoo and go to National Library & the Agri-Horticulture society

    Don’t go the zoo please – it’s crowded and the animals need a break from all the howling humans. Go down straight from the Alipore Zoo gates and walk into the hallowed halls of the country’s largest public library – the National Library. It’s steeped in history and often makes the list of the most haunted places in the country (we call bulls*#&t on that!). But if you are the least bit interested in reading, this is a pilgrimage that most miss but is worth it’s weight in gold. Also the Agri-Horticulture society is right behind here. With the winters coming in, this place will be swarming with beautiful flowers and potted plants and bonsais and whatnot. Pro Tip – You have classes going on that you quickly join to pick up on gardening skills. Call these numbers to find out more –  9133- 2479 1713 / 0834.

    National Library Kolkata. Source ~ Wikipedia
    National Library Kolkata. Source ~ Wikipedia

    10. Bake that damn cake

    Yes please. For how long have you planned to bake your own fruit/chocolate/marble/dundee cake? Get together with the family, go buy the ingredients from New Market, dust off the oven, get your hands dirty and pile up the vanilla! See how everyone gets frenzied with the expectation of the smell of a freshly baked cake. This is what the spirits of the season are all about!

    Bake a cake together with the family! Source ~ Link
    Bake a cake together with the family! Source ~ Link

    11. Start a barbecue in your backyard or on the roof

    It’s cheaper & easier than you think. Amazon sells entire barbecue sets for as cheap as INR 950/- . The charcoal is easily available at the nearby markets. And the meat and marination is no big deal. But the end result of sitting around a bright red barbecue with sizzling leg pieces or wing (and maybe that glass of some golden elixir!) with your family is how you share stories and fall off your chair guffawing at some long forgotten embarrassment. Pro TIp – Buy an electric barbecue set to avoid the hassle of buying and cleaning charcoals.

    Start that barbecue.
    Start that barbecue.

    12. Don’t miss the crowded melas & book fair

    They are crowded. They are messy. But they are very much Calcutta. Load up your pockets and head off to the mela near you. If you have time enough, you can strike gold in some of the stores selling handicrafts. If nothing else, you can get contacts of these artisans to later use their talents for home decor. And let’s not forget the BOOK FAIR – it’s back soon and hope your reading list is ready. France is the country of focus in 2018. Don’t miss this for anything! Pro tip – stop buying books from now and wait patiently for the book fair, all major publications come up with mega discounts on the last few days of the fair.

    Kolkata Book Fair. Source ~ Link
    Kolkata Book Fair. Source ~ Link

    So there you go – your family should be tired and satiated by the time you traverse this winter.

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    Are your Non-Bong friends again asking why DURGA PUJA is such a big deal for you? This is the post you throw at them to explain! BOLO DUGGA MAI KI...

    Durga Puja. Bongfeed,com
    Durga Puja. Bongfeed,com

    Durga Puja – these two words are trending all over again and we Bengalis are on the verge of another week of mass euphoria! And again, like every other year, all our non-Bong friends are going to ask us the same damn questions –

    • WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT YOUR DURGA MATA KA PUJA DUDE?,
    • IT’S LIKE BANGALIYON KA DIWALI RIGHT?
    • HAR SAAL CHUTTI KYUN LETE HO YAAR? IT’S JUST A RELIGIOUS JAI-MATA-DI TYPES AFFAIR RIGHT?

    Oh come on already….. You would think that social media and us Bengalis’ collective craziness globally would have awakened the world to the phenomenon that is Durga Puja! No ma’am/sir. We still need posts like these to shine the divine light of MAA DUGGA on these dimwits. So here are just a few reasons why Durga Puja is the best street festival in the whole damn world.

    THE ATMOSPHERE – The background

    Bengal lies at the head of one the sultriest & most humid bays in the world. Hence, 9 of the 12 months a year, we spend drenched in sweat, with our armpits smelling like pig’s hinds & run our ACs like they produce oxygen. Autumn (or SHOROT in the Bengali) is the hint of the humidity receding and slowly turning into the much loved winters. The pristine blue skies with tufts of cottony clouds and the softly swaying strands of KAASH PHOOL (if you don’t know what that is, go ask a Bong & see her tearing up!) just make our hearts go JIYO PAGLA! The author of this post is ready to bet top dollar that the picture below will make every Bengali heart flutter for a moment!

    Kashphul. Source ~ Flickr
    Kashphul. Source ~ Flickr

    THE TRAILERS – The anticipation

    Yes, Durga Puja is the main event but there are a couple of trailers to heighten the anticipation. First there is Biswakarma Puja. And then there is MAHALAYA. The sweet strain of MAHISHASURAMARDINI (the link takes you to a page with the recording. You are welcome!) at 4 A.M. in the morning on the radio and then the sonorous voice of Birendra Krishna Bhadra, is what Bengali pre-puja dreams are made of. This is the final call from home to every Bengali across the globe to come back to where her/his heart belongs. This day also sees PITRI-TORPON – when our elders go knee deep into the Ganges and offer our ancestors a loving respect. Ever heard of a festival having trailers? Naah….

    Birendra Krishna Bhadra. Source ~ Youtube
    Birendra Krishna Bhadra. Source ~ Youtube

    THE DURATION – The rare good thing that lasts

    So Durga Puja (or DEBIPOKKHO) officially (as in in the almanac) starts right after Mahalaya and lasts for 10 days. But owing to leaves and what not, we Bengalis actually celebrate it from the sixth to the tenth day – that is, 5 solid days of unbridled, uncontrolled, no-holds-barred, no-parental-supervision kinda excitement. And unlike most other festivals, this is 24 hours of being on the streets.

    Durga Puja friends
    Durga Puja friends

    INCLUSION – All are welcome!

    Durga Puja is not just another religious festival. It’s social, it’s celebratory and it’s one hundred percent inclusive. Everyone’s welcome. We won’t say much but watch this short video to understand what we are talking about.

    THE STREETS – Art, talent, designs

    This is one festival that is all out in the open. The PANDALS, the beautiful art installations that house the idols, lovingly created from locally available materials, displaying myriad forms of creativity & unprecedented craftsmanship, pop up every few meters on the streets of Calcutta. Seriously – every locality has at least a couple of these. And a pandal is not just a temporary housing – for these 10 days it’s the nerve center of each locality.  And some of these take years of planning and painstaking work to come to life.

    The Deshapriya Park pandal in 2016. Source.
    The Deshapriya Park pandal in 2016. Source.

    THE CROWDS – We, the people

    In 2016, one of the more famous pandals saw 40 lakh people arrive over 6 days.  4 MILLION people! IN JUST 6 DAYS! And that’s just one pandal. Conservative estimates peg the total number of pandals in Calcutta at a minimum of 2200. The metro saw 43 lakh travelers. And all this in a city that has a total population of 14 million! Now does the scale stagger you? No other street festival can claim such huge crowd surges for the stretch of almost a week. And this is a frenzied, chaotic, shouting, shoving, smiling, sweating mass of humanity that is vivacious and electric in its enthusiasm for this celebration of life! They will wait for hours pressed in a jostling crowd for a glimpse of the deity and to admire a pandals creativity.

    A crowded Durga Puja pandal. Source
    A crowded Durga Puja pandal. Source

    THE CLOTHES, THE FOOD, THE ‘PREM’

    Imagine this – your strict parents force you to buy new clothes (at least 5 sets for the 5 days!), then they don’t mind you eating out (and drinking slyly for the grown up kids) every day for 5 days and ignore your delinquent behavior of getting home almost at dawn! This is what happens every year for every Bengali! No boundaries, lax rules and overall happy vibes all around. And this is when many a romantic Bengali heart falls for the quick, shy glance of a pair of kohl lined eyes on Oshtomi or the rascally smile of a punjabi clad chokra on Nabomi. Love is not only in the air, but in the very veins of every young Bengali woman & man during the five days of Durga Puja.

    Even Ayushmaan & Yami got in on the Puja Prem. Source.
    Even Ayushmaan & Yami got in on the Puja Prem. Source.

    SENSES – A treat for all 5

    Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste. All of your senses will be taken for a whirlwind trip during the 5 days of the Durga Puja. The pandals & crowds take care of the sights. The sonorous DHAAK & Hemanta Mukhopadhyay “E akash shona shona…” takes care of the sound. The smell of DHUNO & that awesome autumn freshness will awaken you everyday. The touch of the crowd outside every pandal will remind you of being part of the people. And the taste of BHOG & all the other street side rolls, chowmeins & the buffet lunches will take care of your flaming Bengali palette. Thus a Bengali woman/man will have been sated over these 5 days!

    Dhakis during DUrga Puja. Source.
    Dhakis during Durga Puja. Source.

    CULTURE – Literature, music and ADDA

    Durga Puja is such a complete showcase of all things Bengali that we have a proper cultural schedule to go with it. There are special Durga Puja editions of every magazine & literary publication and most Bengalis get hooked to reading solely because we so excitedly looked forward to our Puja editions of Anandamela as kids. More Bengali music albums are released right before the Pujas than in the entire calendar year. And every locality has their own Bijoya sommiloni – a final hurrah with music, dance and whatnot on the last day of Puja. And along with all this, Durga Puja remains the best excuse for that one Bengali trait that is a necessity almost at par with breathing – A D D A. This is when old friends meet, this is when new friends are made, this is when your schedule is free for a heart-to-heart with all those you love and hold close. And if you know a Bengali just move close to them and whisper “MADDOX SQUARE JABI?” in there ears and see what happens!

    Adda at Maddox Square. Source.
    Adda at Maddox Square. Source.

    And that, folks, is why Durga puja beats the world’s carnivals & festivals & fetes & celebrations and is the one true place to be in Autumn. Even if you are not a Bengali, being in Calcutta for one Durga Puja should be on your bucket list.

    And if you are a Bengali, BOLO DUGGA MAI KI….

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    Are you a Bengali in Bangalore? Are these the 9 stages your life in Bangalore went through too?

    Hard Rock Cafe Bangalore. Source hardrock.com
    Stage 1 – Getting ready – A month to launch date

    You just scored that dream job in Bangalore. Your proud parents have booked your tickets and mum is busy packing the new VIP strolley with clothes and a mountain of other essentials like gamcha, Boroline, Branolia, Horlicks etc. You’ve been gathering all kinds of info on the life and times of Bangalore. You can barely wait to run away to a place with year round moderate weather and uber cool lifestyle. Bangalore heabby jayga!

    Shahrukh Khan travels by train. Source ~ liferim.com
    Shahrukh Khan travels by train. Source ~ liferim.com
    Stage2 – Arrival – Day 1 to Month 2

    First things first  – check in to FB from Yeshwantpur station – feeling awesome in Bangalore with Angel Priya and 33 others. Take the long but scenic ride to the company provided accommodation in a super swanky serviced apartment (this is the first time you are hearing about this thing and the flat is almost too nice to believe). Rush out on the very first evening to meet the friends who are now Bangalore locals. But soon the accommodation will run out and now MagicBricks and Sulekha are your most searched sites for a shelter. You now realise how inexpensive Kolkata is and cringe at 20k+ rents for puny 2 BHKs. But hey – AC buses – thank you Lord! You’ve also learnt a smattering of Kannada – Enjoy Madi! Bangalore heabby jayga!

    Bangalore Station
    Bangalore Station
    Stage 3 – Pubs, Shacks, good times – first six months

    Now that you found the two dirty, lazy, stoner roommates to share the steep room rent, it’s time to enjoy the good life. Instapics at HRC (that’s Hard Rock Cafe you dimwit), Sky Bar at U B city, micro-breweries, Brigade, selfies in vineyards, sunrise at Nandi Hills, a rave party at Hampi – that’s been your weekend for these months. Your life has transformed from the BHETO Bengali one to a super charged hashtagged cool one. You now wear tortoiseshell sunglasses, khaki shorts with ribbed belts and flowery top like the ones in Under the Tuscan Sun. You’ve also bought yourself a cool lime green, branded sweatshirt for the chilly nights. You are now certified COOL.  Bangalore heabby jayga!

    Hard ROck Cafe Bangalore. Source ~ mouthshut.com
    Hard Rock Cafe Bangalore. Source ~ mouthshut.com
    Stage 4 – Settling down – six months to first year end.

    You’ve now localised yourself to your BTM Layout or Marathahalli neighbourhood. The local Madhuloka (that’s a boutique booze chain – awesome!!) guys now smile at you everytime you walk in. You know where to get the best katla maach in the HAL fish market. You know that Kadugudi has Bong breakfasts of luchi and alur dom. You take your first Durga Puja long leave and walk in to a hero’s welcome at home. Proud parents complain “KOTTO ROGA HOYE GECHIS MA/BABA!” Bangalore heabby jayga!

    Madhulokas Bangalore. Soure ~ onebangalore.com
    Madhuloka Bangalore. Soure ~ onebangalore.com
    Stage 5 – Getting used to it all – Year 1 end

    You’ve now been there and the done most of what Bangalore had to offer. You now smirk at new wannabes. Now you are busy with your career and the small but uber cool bunch you hang out with at Costa Coffee. You have a regular routine of partying and getting high. But these are mostly House Parties now. You keep hearing about the sad state of your native and are often heard saying “Kolkatar kissu hobena.” Bangalore heabby jayga!

    Selfie at Brigade YO! Source ~ smilesofindia.com
    Selfie at Brigade YO! Source ~ smilesofindia.com
    Stage 6 – Homesick – 2 Years onwards.

    This is when the pink glasses start fading. Frustru is a term you sometimes identify with. The job sucks, money is too little, manager is an asshole. Your pubbing-clubbing days are behind you. You fell in love with that cute guy/girl and then swiftly broke up cause she/he was too needy (You never thought you would be this hardcore but you are now). Empty BP bottles line a corner of your room. The gamcha mum packed is now faded and torn. Nowadays you say – “Kolkata te opportunity nei bolei Bangalore e pore achi. Nahole kobe chole jetam.” Bangalore ototao bhalo na.

    That same AC bus ride everyday. Source ~ team-bhp.com
    That same AC bus ride everyday. Source ~ team-bhp.com
    Stage 7 – Complaints -2.5 years +

    The rampant pollution. Hour long traffic jams at Graphite India or Aggara (You now know it’s not AGRA). Bangalore has changed so much – “Weather change hoye geche.” It wasn’t this hot when you came down. It gets on your nerves when your colleagues get lunch in Tupperware bags and you keep eating the sad Andhra mess food. Bangalore PHALTU jayega.

    A crowded Bangalore scene. Source ~ fakingnews.firstpost.com
    A crowded Bangalore scene. Source ~ fakingnews.firstpost.com
    Stage 8 – EBAR BARI JABO – 3 years.

    Who the hell curses Kolkata anymore! It’s home and it’s awesome! You strat forwarding your CV to friends and pester your manager for a transfer to the Kolkata center. Family problems, marriage plans, grand mom’s health, family business and even serious illness are now all good reasons to put up for your urgent need to move back. Bangalore PHALTU jayega.

    Kolkata
    Kolkata
    Stage 9 – Acceptance – 5 years.

    You manager has been promising an on-site trip for a year now. The jobs in Kolkata never materialised. Bangalore sucks. Life sucks. Rent is hellish. All your FB posts are now on Kolkata nostalgia – hot kati roll, tram, taxi, Amar Shohor. Soon, on constant pestering by the stil proud parents you’ve got yourself an ABP Weddings registration. You meet a boy/girl at 6 Ballygunge Place in Indiranagar and you both share your experiences about Bangalore, complaints and nostalgia about the good old days in Kolkata. Time to apply for the huge home loan. But the CV forwarding still on.  Jodi lege jaye…

    Shahrukh Again ! Source ~ tripoto.com
    Shahrukh Again ! Source ~ tripoto.com

    Let us know if we missed something you felt when in Bangalore.

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    Were you staying away from Kolkata for a while? Are you just back to the city or are planning to? Here are some things that you are going to experience soon

    Kolkata
    Kolkata

    Did you leave Kolkata as a bright eyed 20 something for a job in Bangalore or Mumbai or a dual masters at an Ivy league school? And after years of penance in rented flats and self cooked mangshor jhol, did you finally land that job in the city? Here are a few emotions and sentiments you are already going through or will be soon enough. Read on,  prodigal daughter/son!

    The interminable wait in the Tikiapara yard before you jump onto the Howrah platform

    Howrah Station. Source ~ Flickr.com
    Howrah Station. Source ~ Flickr.com

    Obviously you took the Duronto, since you would never pay the extra luggage prices on a flight back to Kolkata. And you completed a 30 plus hour, cross country train journey with 4 half balding uncles and the 3 beautiful girls who never spoke to you all this while. You are dying to alight and run to the taxi counter and reach home. But, the anticlimax is the long wait in the yard before your train is allowed into Howrah.  Sweet sweet pain of waiting!

    The tight hug from Maa 

    The Bong mom welcomes back the Khan son! Source ~ browngirlmagazine.com
    The Bong mom welcomes back the Khan son! Source ~ browngirlmagazine.com

    You just reached home and rang the bell. What comes next is a bear hug from your mum who doesn’t care if you are smelling like a pig in your two day old t-shirt. This, even though corny in this age and time, is how the city welcomes you – a mother’s tight hug.

    Eat all the biriyani, phuchka, jhalmuri, tele bhaja you can and then some

    Biryani. Source ~ http://www.trendingtop5.com
    Biryani. Source ~ http://www.trendingtop5.com

    Khabar! That is the major reason for your return and now you eat like the Mountain from GoT. You salivate over phuchkas, double chicken rolls, mutton Kabiraji, hing-kachuris, cutlet or fish fries and the crowning glory of a meal – ALU-WALA special biryani at Royal or Aminia. And your first weekend’s breakfast is probably going to be at Flury’s. And of course, MAA-er hather daal to macher-jhol are the elixirs of a content Bong life! You are gong to gain back all the flab you lost away from home, faster than you can say Rosogolla! If heaven has a menu it sure comes from Kolkata.

    The re-realization of how inexpensive life in Kolkata is

    The trams of Kolkata.
    The trams of Kolkata.

    After your sojourns to Bangalore and elsewhere you’ve gotten used to the WONANDHALF conundrums in autos and the deep holes in your pockets post each eat-out. Miraculously, Kolkata is still way cheaper than almost any other city you’ve been to. The bus rides are still 6/- a piece, phuchka is still 10 for 5/- and the metro, even after a hike, is cheaper than a cigarette. Oh cigarettes, we are pretty sure the cheap Specials and “choto” Gold Flakes are in circulation only in Kolkata (embarrassing smoking these in Bangalore or Mumbai when even your auto driver smokes King Sizes). And for those who like a tipple, Kolkata is close to heaven for it’s prices, case in point being the age old Broadway bar or Oly Pub or anywhere in China Town – if they were any cheaper, they would be serving Baba Ramdev’s jaributi!

    Acting pricey when you are out in Kolkata

    Golden Empire bar in China Town.
    Golden Empire bar in China Town.

    Now, once the realisation of the previous point settles in, it’s time to act all pricey for the BILET ( or Bangalore) PHEROT Bong. “I don’t drink BP anymore dude” or “This is so unhygienic and cheap” are phrases that often pop up. But, this attitude barely lasts, since your Kolkata friends will laugh so hard at your lameness and start teasing you so bad that you will soon meekly settle down into the “NOT SO CLASSEEY” but endearing and sincere habits of the city.

    College Street, Coffee house, Chandni…

    College-Street-Coffee-House
    College-Street-Coffee-House

    Now that you’re back, it’s time to see if your beloved haunts of the yesteryears are still the same or have changed completely. Pilgrimages to College Street, Coffee House,  Chandni,  Prinsep Ghat, the Southern Avenue Lake and your old adda venue at the “chayer dokan” are going to keep your first few weekends busy.

    The Bongo Lolonas & Chokras

    The Bong Lolona. Bongfeed.com
    The Bong Lolona. Bongfeed.com

    For our men, you may have seen many a beautiful and smart and startling specimen of the fairer sex during your stints elsewhere but the first time you see a true Bong beauty with her deep eyes and the naughty tilt at the edge of her lips, slyly eyeing you, you are going to fall hard in love with the city.  And for our ladies, seeing that wild eyed, bearded “jholawala” in Presidency or the “sudhorshon chokra” at work who is too shy to talk you but keeps looking at you longingly are what make a Bong man irresistible sometimes. Again. There’s something about a Bong girl or man any where in the world, but that same thing becomes way more alluring when she or he walks across with Kolkata in the background.

    The language thing

    Kolkata Taxi. Source ~ facenfacts.com
    Kolkata Taxi. Even he knos Bengali Source ~ facenfacts.com

    For the first few months when you are back to Kolkata, you are probably going to be talking to every shopkeeper, taxi driver or bus conductor in Hindi or maybe even English. It will take you a little while to come to terms with everybody comprehending Bengali around you. But beware if you’ve gotten used to abusing unsuspecting Non-Bongs in Bangalore, in Bengali, to their face with impunity while they think you are wishing them good morning. Everyone here knows what’s coming after that BOKA!

    The complaint about humidity (if you moved from the West of India or world!)

    That's summer in Kolkata. Source ~ economictimes.indiatimes.com
    That’s summer in Kolkata. Source ~ economictimes.indiatimes.com

    Did you forget that feeling? The forever present thin film of sweat on your skin in the summer? Yes, Kolkata is hot, sultry and extremely humid. Stop complaining and get rid of that hoodie and buy a few pair of shorts and linen shirts. And get used to 3 baths a day and a new bottle of deodorant every fortnight.

    Comparing the lifestyles of other cities with Kolkata

    NH7 weekender Kolkata
    NH7 weekender Kolkata

    “Life’s so happening in Bangalore…” or Bombay nightlife dude, miss it so much!” Yeah we know. Apparently the grass on the side that you just left looks greener sometimes. But trust us, if you are an interesting, curious and fun loving person, Kolkata is by no means dull. If you don’t know what to do and are in the mood for some mildly crazy things to do, let us know, we’ve got a long list of things we can do in the city.

    Bad work culture of Kolkata

    Cha khabona amra
    Cha khabona amra

    You are going to say it. And probably by the first weekend at the new workplace in Kolkata. Why does everyone ignore the first name thing and use dada-didi for everyone? Why does the workplace feel more like a large joint family with close knit groups and super close bonding? People here appear chilled out and relaxed and more interested in conversations over “cha-ta” than actually being stuck at their desks for 9 hours. But hey, we are a bit like Italians – eat well, sleep well (siestas they call it, and we call it NAKE TEL DIYE GHUM) , work smart. So don’t judge too soon and just observe that lazy smoker closely at work. Maybe, he does in 4 hours what others take 8 to complete.

    Astonishment at the few new things Kolkata got since your last visit

    Maa Flyover, the latest one in Kolkata. Source ~ hindustantimes.com
    Maa Flyover, the latest one in Kolkata. Source ~ hindustantimes.com

    The city now has Uber and Ola? A new fly over here, an AC bus there, a sudden Big Ben somewhere and new apartments everywhere? Oh wow! KOTO CHANGE HOYE GECHE! It’s always fun to pass by the same old place and see a few things changed for the better. But it’s also extremely sad sometimes, when you see that exquisite old “GARI-BARANDA wala bonedi” palatial home that got torn down to be replaced by an ugly apartment. Times, they are a changing madame/sir!

    Bemoaning the lack of weekend destinations

    Darjeeling. Yes that's how beautiful the Queen looks! Source ~ industrialtour.com
    Darjeeling. Yes that’s how beautiful the Queen looks! Source ~ industrialtour.com

    This is probably the most common complaint once you’ve been in the city for about half a year – AR KOTOBAAR MONDARMONI JABO RE BABA ?!. It’s not that there aren’t places other than Digha & Mondarmoni, to hit for a weekend, but sadly the connectivity in this part of the country is still catching up with the likes of Bangalore or Chennai. On the upside, you are now closer to the North-East and the beautiful mountains of North Bengal. And come on, for some place as beautiful as Darjeeling or the 7 sisters, a day of extra leave is a slight price to pay.

    How you hate some things you loved

    Parar Dada/Kaku at a Rock-er-adda
    Parar Dada/Kaku at a Rock-er-adda

    Once you have gone past the initial glow of homecoming, you will become aware of some things which you loved before you left Kolkata but can’t stand a bit now. The loving neighbourhood kaku now seems extremely nosey giving you advice on when to get married and what job to get. That inseparable friend from your school who stayed back in Kolkata has nothing in common with you anymore. These are a few things you grew out of while you were away.

    Nostalgia and the renewed love for the city

    The hand pulled rickshaw of Kolkata
    The hand pulled rickshaw of Kolkata

    A tram rattling by or the taste of Fusion coffee at the Coffee House or the rare hand pulled rickshaw or the yellow taxis with rude drivers or the fairy far at the top of Victoria are sights that warm your heart like never before. These remind you again why you came back to your city, your Kolkata!

    After all this, let’s finally absorb the awesomeness of being back to Kolkata. Welcome back, O prodigal daughter/son and may Maa Kali make your plate heavy with Ilish and your heart aflutter with every Rabindrasangeet you hear at the signal at Hazra crossing.
    Do let us know if we missed something you felt when you came back to kolkata

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    We investigated the answer to one burning question - What qualities do Bengali parents look for in a groom for their lovely daughters.

    bengali wedding
    bengali wedding

    All over Bengali-verse, every Jamai Shashti fathers in law, in their photua and pajama go out early to buy the reyaji mutton, the mothers in law don their best laal paar sarees and ready the humongous, shiny kanshaar thaala for the all important Bong lunch.

    So we, being the bachelors we are, felt tremendously jealous of this VIP treatment that our married (and henpecked) brethren drown under on this day. Hence, we went into a minor investigation of sorts – we created profiles on a few  matrimony apps (against all our better judgement). Our endeavour was only this – WHAT DO BENGALI PARENTS LOOK FOR IN A GROOM FOR THEIR LOVELY DAUGHTERS.

    What follows now is our learning after a fortnight of “INVESTIGATIVE” (and sometimes just plain curious and Facebook like robotic) scrolling through a ton of profiles. A few minor disclaimers first – none of this was done with any malice or intentions of ridiculing genuinely nice people. It was done in good humor and a bit of curiosity to help our unmarried Bong bhodro lok (including all the single men on team BONGFeed) to hone his skills at landing the perfect life partner.

     

    • THE FRIEND NOT JUST HUSBAND

    Probably the most commonly used word that prospective shoshur moshai’s use when describing their favorite jamai is this – A FRIEND. It’s exciting and at the same time mildly scary that most Bengali parents are so far ahead of the rest of this country’s parents that they have understood that looking for a plain husband is futile. Wonder why these beautiful Bong girls couldn’t bag a “FRIEND” during all these years when so many guys wanted to have “FRAANDSHIP” with them on Facebook! AMRA KI MORE GECHILAM?

    The Bengali boyfriend. Source ~ Youtube
    The Bengali boyfriend. Source ~ Youtube
    • THE SIMPLE, DOWN TO EARTH, HUMBLE FELLOW

    Coming in at a close second is the simple Bong jamai. After flipping through 1000+ profiles, it’s apparent that LOW LIVING AND HIGH THINKING is a truly desirable trait among Bengali families. But what is not clear is this – the definition of simplicity that is seeked. Will a man who loves wearing PAJAMA & Sree Leather CHAPPALS qualify? Or will a man in Louis Phillipe shirt who smiles benignly when called KAPURUSH win in this category. Our research continues…

    Uttam Kumar Saptapadi
    Uttam Kumar Saptapadi
    • THE WELL-EDUCATED NERD

    You gotta be good at studies boss. Period. It doesn’t matter a bit if you earn a bomb. If your alma mater is not one of IIT, IIM, JU, SHIBPUR, NIT or XAVIERS, PRESI you are not jamai material. You will repeatedly flounder after SENDING INTERESTS and receive this damned message in reply – YOUR PROFILE DID NOT MATCH HER EXPECTATIONS. This is probably where the nerds get their revenge. DEKH KEMON LAGE. Why didn’t our parents say this when we were in school – LEKHA PORA NA KORLE BOU PABE NA!

    Abhijit Banerjee receiving his Nobel prize.
    Abhijit Banerjee receiving his Nobel prize.
    • THE CARETAKER

    Yes sir. If you are a Bengali man get ready to work your ass off after marriage. Almost every SHOSHUR wants this – a man who will take care of our daughter like we have. By the way, we did not come across a single profile which claimed that the daughters were equally interested in caring for their man. Not sure if it’s just us or not, but mild sexism against men and a perception of the pater-familias seems prevalent.

    A caring husband. Source ~ biblicalgenderroles.com
    A caring husband. Source ~ biblicalgenderroles.com
    • THE VISA-WALA BIDESHI BENGALI

    If, by some chance, you are currently in a Western, developed country please stop reading this and immediately create a profile on one of these apps. That visa you have right now is your ticket to Bengali glory. We came across a ton of profiles who hailed from India but are averse to marrying someone who is in India. Even if you are just updating Excel spreadsheets in some obscure US village, you sure are a winner sir. SAAT-KHUN-MAAF for you, here, come marry this beautiful, tall, slim, fair, convent educated girl who loves painting and singing Rabindra-sangeet!

    Prosenjit in the US. Source ~ gomolo.com
    Prosenjit in the US. Source ~ gomolo.com
    • THE CROREPATIS

    This is the category seeking grooms earning, get ready, 25 LAKH -1 CRORE. Not sure why they bothered with the upper limit. Infinity would have been easier to handle. We couldn’t fathom why some SHOSHUR MOSHAI’s expect a dude, who earns close to a crore a year, to be sitting around in his room swiping through a matrimony app looking for his life partner. He is busy and hence is rich. And please, let the man drive his BMW X1 in peace.

    The BOINEDI RICH Bengali Saif in Parineta. Source ~ zns.india.com
    The BONEDI, RICH Bengali Saif in Parineta. Source ~ zns.india.com
    • THE NON-SMOKER, NON-DRINKER

    Why Shoshur-moshai, why? Even though we Bongs almost always top the lists of smokers & drinkers in this country, when looking for a groom, most families want a pious jamai. Ironically, we are pretty sure some of the girls, whose fathers were looking for teetotalers, are not themselves averse to a tipple or a puff now & then. But hey, all you guys out there who abstain and are stuck with drunk losers, this is your time to shine. Go out there and show off your clear lungs and fresh livers for the perfect bride.

    Drunk Devdas. He would never make the cut!
    Drunk Devdas. He would never make the cut!
    • THE TRAVELER CUM PHOTOGRAPHER

    Make sure that the pictures you put up on these sites show you on the edge of that blue lake in Ladakh or that cloud covered mountain in Dzongri. Most Bengali families, keeping with established cliches, have daughters who love traveling and photography. So if you don’t have a heavy DSLR and are a lazy sofa-surfer please DO NOT CONTACT THIS PROFILE.

    No DSLR, no bou
    No DSLR, no bou
    • TRADITIONAL YET MODERN, CULTURED YET LIBERAL RESPECTABLE FAMILY

    Again, a grey area. We just could not understand the meaning of these paradoxes. So am I traditional if I recite the GAYATRI mantra every morning? Am I modern if I go out to Someplace Else that same night and get sloshed? Is your father cultured and liberal if he sits reading Shakti Chattopadhyay while sharing a smoke with you? And have you ever heard anyone having a NON-RESPECTABLE family? This is the point when you give up and go back to Facebook cat videos.

    A jamai like Abir? Source ~ tellychakkar.com
    A jamai like Abir? Source ~ tellychakkar.com
    • THE SUPURUSH

    Though not always important (some profiles clearly stated that looks don’t matter, only your IIT passing certificate and salary slips do), your KARTIK THAKUR type looks are very desirable. But wonder why these handsome men are expected to be single and searching for an arranged marriage. Maybe, their parents will forcefully create a profile to get them to leave those BAJE MEYEs who are their girlfriends.

    Soumitra. Source ~ learningandcreativity.com/
    The forever handsome Soumitra. Source ~ learningandcreativity.com/

    This, in a nutshell is all you got to be and do if you want to get hitched in present day Bengal. Our research continues though, trying to extract a detailed matrix of desired qualities for our men!

    Enjoyed this article about the Bengali JAMAI?

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    Aamir Khan once tried walking into the home of Sourav Ganguly. And then he got thrown out. See these videos for the hilarity that ensued.

    Aamir at Saurav Ganguly home. BONGFeed. Source ~ Youtube
    Aamir at Saurav Ganguly home. BONGFeed. Source ~ Youtube

    We all know where Sourav Ganguly stays right? And we would all love to meet him at his house and get a tour from him as well! But alas, we ain’t getting that chance soon. But Aamir Khan sure can do that. He did try walking into Dada’s home once in 2009. But he was stopped at the gate and turned back, exactly the way you or me would be if we came knocking saying “EK PHOTO LENA THA UNKE SAATH…”.

    In the first video, Aamir dresses up like a common nutcase fan and tries entering the house . But in the second one, he comes back with Dada himself and the fun begins in earnest. It just warms our heart to see the two greats together in such a casual setting.

    This is where the fun began!

    And then he came back.

    And Dada plays the great host.

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    0 2027

    When it comes to romance, the Bong man is a stellar success. And here are the reasons that make a Bengali man the best boyfriend/lover/husband you will ever come across

    Abir. Source ~ tellychakkar.com
    Abir. Source ~ tellychakkar.com

    The Bengali man – the bhodrolok, has forever been a polarising character. Some love him ardently and some scoff at his many idiosyncrasies. But when it comes to the romance, the Bong man is a stellar success. And here are the reasons that make a Bengali man the best boyfriend/lover/husband you will ever come across (or maybe have to yourself, if you’re a lucky lady!)

    1. THE GENUINE NICE GUY

    A Bengali man is probably the perfect specimen of the NICE GUY. He is chivalrous, considerate, caring and is never aggressive with his dame. He can be found regularly holding the door open for his lady (and 5 other people who follow quickly after) at malls, restaurants, film halls and cars.

    Soumitra. Source ~ learningandcreativity.com/
    Soumitra.
    1. THE POIGNANT POET & SINGER

    Bengali men are brought up in an environment where poetry and rhyming phrases are how people talk. Even when he’s on the football ground and cursing the players, he does it in unmentionable poddos (poems). So when it comes to romance, a line here and there quoted from Jibanananda or Rabindranath is par for him. He is also the rare classically trained male who is in tune even in the bathroom. And you will probably be treated to lines from Othello when he is heartbroken….TO DIE UPON A KISS.

    Anupam Roy. Source ~Imageshack.com/
    Anupam Roy. Source ~Imageshack.com/
    1. THE DEEP EYES AND ELEGANT GAIT

    A Bengali man may not be the fair tall handsome Punjabi munda, but the bespectacled shaggy haired dude is actually the owner of big, often drunken eyes that can melt your heart. A Bong boy will say more with his eyes over a glass of scotch than most men say over an entire night of lovemaking. He also possesses this unusual gait that shouts composure and a laid-back coolness – especially when dressed in their drool-worthy dhuti-punjabi or jeans-punjabi?

    Soumitra in Apur Sangshar. Source ~ ibnlive.com
    Soumitra in Apur Sangshar. Source ~ ibnlive.com
    1. GYAN & ANECDOTES

    He has a ton of information (sometimes random & useless but never boring) & knowledge about almost everything. On a shopping spree you might suddenly be treated to the history of Coco Chanel or in the middle of dinner he might start explaining the meaning of different types of steaks. The Bengali man is a treasure trove of trivial, surreal, serious or funny facts & anecdotes. He always has a dada or kaka who has done the exact thing you are talking about. Never a boring moment around him & never again will you have to hunt for a conversation starter.

    Feluda Topshe & Shidhu Jyatha.
    Feluda Topshe & Shidhu Jyatha.
    1. FOOD LOVER

    An old adage says that picky eaters make bad lovers & big eaters make great ones. Almost every Bengali man is, proudly, a KHADDO ROSHIK – a food lover & connoisseur of global cuisine. If it’s cooked well he’ll eat it, even if it’s a live snake in Vietnam. And that appetite, ladies & gentlemen, also converts to warm hugs, sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of love. Like they say big eaters make big lovers!

    Food loving Bengali, even when it leads to a love for digestives!
    Food loving Bengali, even when it leads to a love for digestives!
    1. THE RESPONSIBLE FRIEND IN NEED

    Any woman who has ever gone out with a Bengali man will vouch for this – he is the quintessential pillar of responsibility and will always get you home safe. He likes the role of a caretaker & lover – he’ll get you your drink, he’ll walk you to your gate just cause your lane is dark & he’ll ask you to let him know once you reach home safe. Ekbar janiye dish…

    Vidya's friend Param in Kahani. Source ~ indiatvnews.com
    Vidya’s friend Param in Kahaani. Source ~ indiatvnews.com
    1. THE SMOOTH ANGER MANAGER

    Often on the streets of Kolkata, you’ll see a Bong bhodromohila throwing an earth shattering tantrum with her man. And every single time, you’ll see the man trying his best to calm her down and talk sense into her, but with loving patience. The Bengali man knows how to tackle a woman in her shrew avatar. And he doesn’t give a flying f*** if the rest of the world thinks he’s a joru ka gulam – he’s not that and he knows how to love well.

    Barfi -Ranbir & Priyanka
    Barfi -Ranbir & Priyanka
    1. THE GREAT SHOPPER

    While the rest of the male universe is killing itself complaining about how horrid it is to go shopping with a woman, the Bong bhodorolok is quietly doing his thing – taking his beloved to Chaitra sale and enthusiastically choosing the best laal-par saree for her. The Bengali man is an asset on these trips, since, he is your forever present answer to the question – kemon dekhachche boloto? Chomotkaar!

    Bengali couple shopping
    Bengali couple shopping
    1. ADMIRER OF INTELLIGENCE & PERSONALITY

    A Bengali man honestly believes the following lines of one of Rabindranath’s ballads – Rupe tomaye bholabo na (I won’t deceive you with my beauty). Though he likes admiring the super-hot specimens of the opposite sex, what he truly yearns for & respects is an original personality & a sparkling intelligence. He will always be more turned on by a deep conversation with a woman rather than her full pout.

    Byomkesh satyabati
    Byomkesh satyabati
    1. THE ORIGINAL OPEN-MINDED LIBERAL

    Even though women’s lib is still a hot topic globally, Bengalis (majorly because of Ram Mohan Roy) have never have had to live in a society of unequals – men & women are treated as equals and most of the times Bong women come out on top (read Madhyamik & Uchcha-Madhyamik results). Hence, the Bengali man has absolutely zero ideas of discrimination or false insecurities about his woman. He is not going to be scandalized by or balk at his girlfriend/wife drinking, smoking, arguing or fighting or doing anything at par with a man. If you are not a Bengali, this is a pleasant change from the quintessential Indian male.

    Raima Sen
    Raima Sen
    1. PASSION

    If ever there was a class of people who resembled Italians, then they are Bongs. They both love their afternoon naps, are big eaters & are passionate about every damn thing on earth. A Bengali man is equally passionate about football as he is about politics. And when this comes to romancing his belle, his passion sometimes creates a Devdas and at others an Uttam Kumar-esque romantic. Let his passions flare and you’ll probably have an insatiable & untiring lover for the rest of your life.

    Uttam Kumar Saptapadi
    The passionate footballer & lover – Uttam Kumar in Saptapadi
    1. HUMOR

    When Bollywood proclaimed “HANSI TO PHANSI”, the Bengali man was probably smiling knowingly. He is forever the funny guy who will always use self-deprecating sweet nothings to defuse your anger or sorrow. The subtlety of his humor is at times astonishing too.

    Palash Sen woos Vidya Balan. Source ~ Youtube. Click the image & go check out the awesome video
    The funny Palash Sen woos Vidya Balan. Source ~ Youtube. Click the image & go check out the awesome video
    1. THE MULTILINGUAL BANGREZ

    A Bengali man, is often a throwback to the days of the Raj. He likes addressing women as ma’am & is often a great speaker & writer in English. This is an added bonus (not something to be proud of) in a country where we still value people who can speak well in the Queen’s language. By the way, just because he is a fiery BANGREZ doesn’t mean he can’t speak in tongues – his Bengali is mellifluous & his Hindi is probably the SHUDDH version. And if he’s stayed anywhere in the south of India, he sure knows a smattering of Tamil & Kannada. After all, a Bengali man is a cunning linguist!

    Pranoy Roy
    Pranoy Roy
    1. THE INEBRIATED HISTRIONICS

    You have to see a drunk Bong to believe it. A Bengali man loves his scotch. When high, he is the most entertaining and least menacing man around. He will get up on the bar stool and in clear tone & tune, either recite a poem or start singing Pink Floyd. Sit back and enjoy the show mademoiselle.

    Drunk Devdas
    Drunk Devdas
    1. THE SUBTLE GENTLEMAN COMPANION

    The Bengali man always knows how to walk with you – when you’re in your short skirts on the way to Roxy or in a gorgeous dhakai on Ashtami. His subtle changes in handling you will floor you. He knows when to take a backseat and let you be in the limelight. The man will let you be YOU. He will sit in a corner with a smile on his lips admiring you from afar.

    Uttam kUmar in Saptapadi. Source ~ inannareturns.com
    Uttam kUmar in Saptapadi. Source ~ inannareturns.com
    1. A CHEF

    Most Bengali men are indulgent cooks & love playing the host. They love surprising everyone with exotic concoctions they cook up – beer battered pork chops, a Chicken-a-la Kiev, a tall glass of his special margarita & sangria combo? If you don’t mind the war zone that your kitchen looks like after he’s done with his experimentations, a Bong man is a surprisingly lovely chef & bartender to have around.

    Parambrata cooks. Source ~ timesofindia.indiatimes.com/
    Parambrata cooks. Source ~ timesofindia.indiatimes.com
    1. THE INTELLECTUAL BIBLIOPHILE

    Ever wondered what a Bengali man’s DVD collection, his bookshelf & his wall look like? They are chock full of Kurosawa movies, Hemingway novels & posters of the Bridge Over River Kwai. His favorite movies are probably all black & white. If you are a book lover, you will enjoy every discussion with him – he is extremely well read in at least two languages. A Bengali man seeks depth & intellectual gravity in all he perceives. You will be exposed to some of the most exotic works of art in his presence & he will never come across as the slovenly beer drinking, WWE poster on the wall, Chetan Bhagat reading slob – he’s a sharp & witty appreciator of art & culture.

    Satyajit Ray
    Satyajit Ray
    1. NICKNAMES

    Puchu, pinku, poltu, panchu, shontu, rontu & babu – though funny as hell, all of these are common nicknames for Bengali men. Imagine having a lover whom you can lovingly call “MY DEAR LALTU” in private. Hilarity is never missing in a Bengali man’s presence.

    AYE PIKU. Source ~ ibnlive.in
    AYII PIKU
    1. LOVER NOT A FIGHTER

    Bengali men are often disparaged as effeminate, non-fighting weaklings. Please know this once and for all – he may not be the punching, kicking hero of a Bollywood flick, but he will always stand up for his partner. And anyone who has been at the receiving end of an angry Bong man’s wrath knows that not all fights are won with fists – some are simply silenced with words & attitude. If he is still faced with an angry brute he is well capable of belittling his opponent with his wit and making sure that he comes out the victor without throwing a single punch. If you know a Bengali man called Sourav Ganguly then you’ll know what we mean!

    Dada. Source ~ newsmodile.in
    Dada.

    Thus, the final word – in case you have a Bengali bhadralok holding your hand right now or a good looking Bong chokra trying to woo you with Robi Thakur’s poetry, please turn around and give them a hug & know that you have chosen well!

     

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    There's an oft used saying in Bengali colloquy - without Rabindranath, life as a Bengali is meaningless. But how well do you know Tagore? Take this quiz and find out for yourself.

    Portrait of Rabindranath Tagore, circa 1935. (Photo by Fox Photos/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
    Portrait of Indian author and poet Rabindranath Tagore, circa 1935. (Photo by Fox Photos/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

    There’s an oft used saying in Bengali colloquy – without a touch of Rabindranath, life as a Bengali is meaningless. The great bard, our Kobiguru Rabindranath Tagore, is an integral and essential part of life as a Bengali. His songs talk to and about every feeling that we experience. His poetry & prose are our staple for every occasion – happy or sad, love or rage, joy or pain. His achievements as a creative genius are monumental & are probably Bengal’s greatest gifts to mankind.

    But how well do you know the maestro from Jorashanko? Take this quiz and see if you are a true “Rabindra-Anuragi” Bengali.

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    Share your best images that show us the SPIRIT OF DURGA PUJA. And we will share your creativity on our social media walls and award the top 3 most LIKED images with Flipkart vouchers

    Source ~ http://www.livemint.com/rf/Image-621x414/LiveMint/Period1/2014/09/27/Photos/puja--621x414.jpg
    Source ~ http://www.livemint.com/rf/Image-621x414/LiveMint/Period1/2014/09/27/Photos/puja--621x414.jpg

    So photography is your salvation & you have been carrying around your DSLR or new mobile around the city of Kolkata while it is slowly decking up for the Durga Puja. And for sure, you have clicked some superb pictures which express the SPIRIT OF DURGA PUJA better than a 1000 words. But seldom do you got a chance to share your creative vision with everyone.

    So this year, we at BONGFeed want to see the “spirit of pujo” through your eyes. Make us a part of your pujo celebrations and send your best clicks expressing the “SPIRIT OF PUJO” to bongfeed@gmail.com. And we will plaster our Facebook wall with your creations, for all to admire! But the cracker is, the best images, get Flipkart vouchers! Talk about a double whammy – Love from social Bongs and a nifty voucher to buy stuff!

    So here are a few points that will make this fun thing a little more serious sounding!

    1. Please send in all your entries to BONGFEED@GMAIL.COM.
    2. There are no restrictions on image size or quality. You can send in your pro-level RAW images or a VGA pic from your old Nokia mobile. We want to see them all!
    3. You can send in more than one image and more than one mail. We don’t want you to click your best pic on Oshtomi and then regret sending over the one you shot on Soshti.
    4. You can use your phones, digicams and SLRs. As long it has got lenses and records images it works for us.
    5. You can start sending in images from 16th October, 2015 and go on and on till Dashomi (22nd October, 2015).
    6. We will publish selected images on Oshtomi (21st October) @ 10 A.M. and 23rd October @ 10 P.M. from the lot you send us.
    7. Here’s how we (or rather you and your friends) decide the TOP THREE – the 3 images getting maximum LIKES on the BONGFeed Facebook page by Sunday (25th October), will win the Flipkart vouchers (and get taken out for a beer the next weekend by us). So now we’ve been democratic and given you the chance to get your friends to finally prove their worth too!
    8. By the way, in case you are insanely good, please know that one participant cannot get more than one of the top 3 positions. It may happen that one of you out there is the next Prahlad Kakkar and your 3 entries get all the likes. We will reward your effort with one voucher and let lesser mortals win some too.
    9. Not that we expect you to do this but, please submit your original work. We hate a creative genius not getting her/his due credit.

    So that was the serious bit. Now it’s time for you to go out and get crazy with the cameras and snap some of the best shots of Durga Puja ever. Let these images for once and for all answer to the question – WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT THE DURGA PUJA & WHY DO BONGS GO BONKERS?

    Godspeed to all you camerawallahs!
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    These images of Ma Durga as a girl next door is a powerful portrayal of our beloved goddess. And they are also a moving tribute to a special group of women.

    Featured Image Live Durga. Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Featured Image Live Durga. Source ~ Scoopwhoop

    She is a strong, talented Bengali young woman. Almost like our daughter Durga. She is a photographer with a message to spread. The following images by Sharmistha Dutta are stunning not only because they portray a live Durga – our beloved girl-next-door but also because they are a moving tribute to the widows living in Vrindavan. The story and concept is by Sharmistha, an artist and a photographer. You can read more about this work by Sharmistha here.

    We applaud Sharmistha & her team for this tremendous work and we hope that these images will make you stop in your tracks for a moment and ponder upon the plight of women in our country.

    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop
    This ongoing photo essay is an attempt at portraying women from all genres, in their true form, that is Durga, someone very powerful. It is a reminder for the common women to realize this power and person within her. My attempt is to connect and highlight every women’s issue with this, that deserves to be talked about and addressed. Image Source ~ Scoopwhoop

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    Are you a Bengali waiting for Durga Puja? A fan of Game of Thrones? These GoT memes on Durga Puja is our way of welcoming Maa Durga home! This is the season finale. Check out the rest!

    Game of Pujo SEason IV FInale
    Game of Pujo SEason IV FInale

    In case you missed the first THREE seasons of Game of Pujo, check out SEASON 1 HERE, SEASON 2 HERE & SEASON 3 HERE.

    BACK TO BANGALORE/DELHI/MUMBAI/CHENNAI/PUNE etc etc
    BACK TO BANGALORE/DELHI/MUMBAI/CHENNAI/PUNE etc etc
    THE ECONOMIC BOOM OF DURGA PUJA - TIME TO PACK YOUR TIPHIN BAKSHO
    THE ECONOMIC BOOM OF DURGA PUJA – TIME TO PACK YOUR TIPHIN BAKSHO
    ADI DHAKESHWARI BASTRALAYER POSE
    ADI DHAKESHWARI BASTRALAYER POSE
    THE RARE, RELAXED BONG
    THE RARE, RELAXED BONG
    EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.
    EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.
    LOVE IS IN THE AIR....BUT NOT IN YOUR LIFE THIS PUJA! TRUE STORY OF 99% BONG BROTHER
    LOVE IS IN THE AIR….BUT NOT IN YOUR LIFE THIS PUJA! TRUE STORY OF 99% BONG BROTHER
    DO YOU KNOW THE CRITERIA FOR SELECTION?
    DO YOU KNOW THE CRITERIA FOR SELECTION?
    BRAVO(S) BRAVO(S)!
    BRAVO(S) BRAVO(S)!
    SHANTIR JOL THIK KORE NA DILE EROM HOBEI
    SHANTIR JOL THIK KORE NA DILE EROM HOBEI
    SOVABAZAR METRO STATION - MAKING MEN TAKE WRONG TURNS SINCE 1984
    SOVABAZAR METRO STATION – MAKING MEN TAKE WRONG TURNS SINCE 1984
    I WILL BE HIS CHAMPION
    I WILL BE HIS CHAMPION
    HE IS NOT DEAD. HE WILL, HE MUST BE BACK. ASCHE BOCHOR ABAR HOTEI HOBE
    HE IS NOT DEAD. HE WILL, HE MUST BE BACK. ASCHE BOCHOR ABAR HOTEI HOBE
    KHEMTA KING
    KHEMTA KING
    DIL TODKE NA JAA., MUH MOD KE NA JAA
    DIL TODKE NA JAA., MUH MOD KE NA JAA
    WHATTTTT????? ETAI BAKI CHILO
    WHATTTTT????? ETAI BAKI CHILO
    THE NORTH NEVER FORGETS
    THE NORTH NEVER FORGETS
    VALAR DOHAERIS
    VALAR DOHAERIS

    Enjoyed GameOfPujo Season 4?
    check out SEASON 1 HERE, SEASON 2 HERE & SEASON 3 HERE.


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    KOLKATA, DURING THE DURGA PUJA, IS THE BIGGEST FASHION PARADE IN THE WORLD. But how do you look your sharpest during this festive season? Let us help!

    Bengali Puja Shopping
    Bengali Puja Shopping

    We hear tons about the carnivals from Rio to Goa – the world goes there to be amazed while standing far away from the street performers in their sparkly costumes & marvel at the gaudy splendours from the sidelines! We rarely talk about Kolkata. But, now just read the next sentence & let it sink in – “KOLKATA, DURING THE DURGA PUJA, IS THE BIGGEST FASHION PARADE IN THE WORLD“. Rings true?

    Durga Puja Bheer - Source ScoopWhoop
    Durga Puja Bheer – Source ScoopWhoop

    Durga Puja is the grandest festival for a Bengali (maybe even for the rest of the world!). It means a lot to every Bong, but the top 5 prerogatives have remained the same for the last 5 centuries –

    “ADDA-EYARKI-KHILLI”, “KHAWA-DAWA”, “GHORA”, “MISHTI PREM” & most importantly “NOTUN JAMA”.

    Durga Puja Adda - Source ScoopPick
    Durga Puja Adda – Source ScoopPick

    Buying an entirely new set of attires is the most exciting build up to this festive season. The amazing thing is – not only do Bongs buy spanking new clothes but they wear them while walking in stifling heat, while standing in mile long queues outside pandals and being jostled by impatient, million strong crowds!

    Now let us help you dress up for this mega fashion fiesta – sit back, window shop at supersonic speeds, choose, discard, chose again and finally order! Pujo Shopping done while sipping gorom-cha from your EAJY CHAIR.

    WOMEN (our lovely lolonas)

    My dear ladies, we know you want to be the centre of attention during the all important Maha Ashtami anjali. That’s no mean feat when the rest of the city is bedecked in their traditional best, Here’s what you do – arm yourself with a sari that steers away from conventional prints and patterns but is still soothingly ethnic.

    We were floored by these drapes this season (the WE here means we girls at BONGFeed, our maa-bons & our besties)

    Jamini Roy saree. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    Jamini Roy saree. Source – Fashionpiper.com
    Bespoke Block Printed saree. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    Bespoke Block Printed saree. Source – Fashionpiper.com

    But now what about Nabami evening, when you’re out partying at Plush or Afraa with that SUPURUSH Bhodrolok (or good looking CHOKRA). We are wearing these jackets to heat things up under the neon lights.

    Red Cart Printed Jacket. Source - fashionpiper.com
    Red Cart Printed Jacket. Source – Fashionpiper.com
    Hello Hello Blue Jacket. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    Hello Hello Blue Jacket. Source – Fashionpiper.com

    Now, you must have specialised gear for your jaunts to the pandals under the hot sun & in 90% humidity. Thus we heard about silk PALAZZOS, which The Guardian describes as  “A palazzo pant is a wide, elegant, swooshy trouser. It has to be a bit grand, because that’s what makes it a palazzo pant and not a pyjama pant.” We literally threw our purses at these, especially when we found pairs with an ethnic flair.

    Printed silk palazzo. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    Printed silk palazzo. Source – Fashionpiper.com
    India Calling Palazzo. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    India Calling Palazzo. Source – Fashionpiper.com
    MEN (aka BHODROLOK & DUSHTU)

    Dada, it’s time to get rid of that black t-shirt and unwashed pair of denims. Grow up & be a BENGALI BHODROLOK! If you are still bereft of a proper PAANJABI then buy these, please.

    Twist of turmeric mens kurta. Source - fashionpiper.com
    Twist of turmeric mens kurta. Source – Fashionpiper.com
    Bleed blue mens punjabi. Source - Fashionpiper.com
    Bleed blue mens punjabi. Source – Fashionpiper.com

    In case you are the ENFIELD-riding, GALE-DARI-BUKE-LOM-WALA Bong stud, then this might be your macho choice.

    Raas Benaras mens punjabi. Source - Fasionpiper.com
    Raas Benaras mens punjabi. Source – Fasionpiper.com

    So this was our little boost to your Puja shopping sprees. We know, we missed a lot, so please share your list in the comments.

    Fashion Credits ~The generous & stylish folks @ FashionPiper.com.


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    Are you a Bengali waiting for Durga Pujo? A fan of Game of Thrones? These GoT memes on Durga Pujo is our way of welcoming Maa Durga home! Even more to follow ...

    Game of Pujo Season 3
    Game of Pujo Season 3

    In case you missed the first two season of Game of Pujo, check out SEASON 1 HERE & SEASON 2 HERE.

    BONGFeed Game of pujo 2
    THEON-DA – THE IDEAL PUJO VOLUNTEER
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 3
    DEKHECHIS DEKHECHIS?
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 5
    PARAR BEAUTY PARLOUR ROCKS!
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 6
    DAKBO KHAAL KE?
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 7
    TYRIONED!
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 8
    B K PAL TO BAGBAZAR! STILL WANNA RIDE IN THAT CAB?
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 12
    CASE KORECHE….POILICE DAAK RE BHAI
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 13
    DISTRACTING THE POOR BHODROLOKS DURING ANJALI?
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 11
    LINE KATA = = CROSSING THE WALL
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 10
    PHOOLTA JHURITE PHEBENE KAKA
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 9
    BEWARE OF THE “NEEDLE “!
    BONGFeed Game of pujo 4
    HORNS OF DILEMMA!

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    Check out SEASON 1 HERE & SEASON 2 HERE.


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    BAJAR GOROM

    EKDOM FRESH

    Bengali stereotypes

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    We Bengalis have migrated out of West Bengal and moved to different parts of India, mostly to earn a living. Wherever you go in...